Conker’s Bad Fur Day

Developer: Rare, Ltd. Publisher: Rare, Ltd.

Released: March 5, 2001 8/10 Rated: M

You hear it plenty of times about all sorts of media. “You couldn’t make so-and-so today!” And yes, I’ve heard it myself about Conker’s Bad Fur Day more than I’ve heard it about any video game. Busty and flirtatious sunflowers, buckets of gore and viscera, insecure cavemen, and feces. Oh my god, the feces. It’s everywhere. Conker’s Bad Fur Day is crude, it’s violent, it’s got the attention span of a half-rotted goldfish, and it’s arguably Rare’s most ambitious project of their entire golden era. And no, I certainly don’t think you’d make it today, just like you wouldn’t make the first three seasons of South Park exactly the same as you’d make them over 20 years later. The shock value of toilet humor, sex, violence, and drinking mixed with saccharine visuals and Steamboat Willie-inspired music has diminished only slightly in the span of two decades. In fact, I would certainly say that along with the aforementioned South Park, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, at least in the realm of video games, has been one of the most influential early combinations of “adult” humor with a typically kid-friendly genre.

The Doom Guy-esque expressions to represent Conker’s remaining air supply is probably one of my favorite bits the game has to offer.

I imagine it’s that influence and subsequently, the unmistakable sense of freshness – that feeling that something like this hasn’t been done quite like this in a video game before – that’s made it so endearing to gamers who were still shooting Tediz and flinging toilet paper at this late stage of the N64’s lifespan (or the Xbox following its Live and Reloaded port). But while I couldn’t hold it against somebody for loving a game they grew up playing, particularly one they were drawn to because, well, there’s simply nothing else quite like it at the time, it’s of massive importance that at least some of those folks understand that, for several reasons, Conker’s Bad Fur Day has just not aged very well. And for new players, like myself, who have seen plenty of it from afar over the years before jumping in, the enduring legacy of Conker as a masterpiece, a fitting swan song for the N64, even the crowning achievement of Rare’s impeccable portfolio, I think it’s okay to admit that it’s far from perfect.

I’ll jump over to the gameplay, in case anybody still reading this review is at risk of leaving already, and start with this: I don’t think a lot of people realize exactly what type of game Conker’s Bad Fur Day even is. At a glance, I think it’s fair to assume that it’s another collect-a-thon platformer with a big, open world like the Banjo-Kazooie series or Donkey Kong 64. Having a similar visual style as Rare’s previous works definitely contributes to this idea, but the proper way to think of Conker’s Bad Fur Day is actually more like a cross between a point-and-click adventure and a traditional platformer. For starters, it’s an entirely linear game. Though it’s sectioned off into many distinct and wildly varied chapters, each with anywhere from three to a dozen or so individual missions, there’s no option here to tackle things in the order you feel like.
What that also means, though, is that unlike the previous efforts of Banjo-Tooie and Donkey Kong 64, often criticized in the modern era for feeling bloated and overwhelming, Conker is a straight shot from beginning to end and, in a sense, is quite a cinematic sort of adventure. Characters are fully voiced and strongly defined in their personalities and, like in a LucasArts title, our mission in controlling Conker at any given time is to figure out what these characters want from us and execute our plan accordingly. That means, of course, to do exactly what the game wants us to do, which sounds limiting and maybe a little too hands-off, but most missions center either on simple platform challenges, fetching items, or what essentially amounts to a short mini-game with its own control scheme. The latter is where the game finds its greatest sources of inspiration, that’s for sure, but at the same time, you can probably imagine how heavily the quality varies between these individual sections.

The classic dilemma of “how do I get these cows to shit enough so I can get the dung beetles to roll it up in convenient little balls?” The solution starts with prune juice, of course.

In between scenes of swimming through sharp fan blades that produce more realistic dismemberment than its contemporaries and stuffing anthropomorphic cheese wedges down the wedges of lazy rats until they explode like Mr. Creosote, Conker will be doing all sorts of things that don’t tie his Bad Day down to any particular genre. The idea that you could be rolling down hills on a barrel one minute and bullet-time blasting away enemies in a Matrix parody the next makes Conker’s Bad Fur Day all the more exciting and memorable from scene to scene. But as you might imagine, these are not all created equal. Just getting all of these individual gimmicks to function in one shot is impressive, certainly, but sections like shooting evil Teddy Bears in “It’s War” and pushing big boulder-like enemies around with Conker’s drunken piss-stream in “Uga Buga” could have used a lot more tightening up.

Now, I do admit that an overall sloppiness to the controls might actually be intentional as an artistic choice — Conker has had a real rough night, after all — but it’s nonetheless important to acknowledge that from a gameplay standpoint, Conker’s Bad Fur Day is one of the most hit-and-miss titles to still come away with enough goodwill to be forgiven for sections like the jet-board race in “Uga Buga” or the impossibly tedious key hunt from the end of “Spooky.” In fact, I think a lot of the existing hype in Conker’s reputation, at least that which actually has to do with gameplay, is based on the player’s ability to revisit or start from any individual mission in the game from the main menu — a privilege afforded by its linear structure, in contrast to just about any other Rare or similar platformer from the early 3D era. It’s this opportunity for so much positive reinforcement that I think has helped build up Conker into this legendary title, where not only is “The Great Mighty Poo” (aka “Sloprano”) an unforgettable character that few would dare even try to feature in their game, but it’s actually one of the all-around highlights of the whole adventure, and one that people are absolutely going to jump to to replay or show their friends.

One of the mechanics that pops up more frequently is this over-the-shoulder slingshot targeting, which is isn’t all that unique, but at least it works well.

Now, on the subject of a literal big pile of singing crap, maybe we should circle back around to the other way that this game’s reputation precedes it, and use “Sloprano” as an example. Now, in the 23 years following Conker’s original release, a lot of sensibilities have changed, yes. But I think there’s something to be said for the fact that toilet humor has always been toilet humor. Like, it exists both in the realm of being extremely childish, in that its main appeal outside of shock value is with children, while most of the actual language for creating it is reserved for and understood by adults. The fact that Conker’s Bad Fur Day features not one, but two entire sections of the game dealing specifically with scatological humor is only an example of an overall content issue.

It’s not as if nothing about Conker’s Bad Fur Day is or ever was funny, and there will definitely be different parts of the game’s story and content that appeal to people differently. Personally, I thought that most of the scenes of reference humor — Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), The Matrix, Aliens — were legitimately funny. What’s more, Conker himself is probably the funniest character in the whole adventure, often playing the straight man in a scene, albeit with a touch of sarcasm. It’s quite strange to see this play out this way, even though the premise of the game hinges on his binge drinking getting him into trouble. Any bit of promotional material you may have seen outside of the actual game likely depicts him as the main troublemaker off to leave spilled beers and destruction in his wake, and that’s just not true. It probably is funnier, though, just to watch him stroll along from mishap to mishap, muttering to himself in a very British manner about the absurdity of it all with a “well I never” and maybe a “for how much?” thrown in along the way.

Other than his palpable greediness, Conker is rarely the miserable, antisocial bastard the marketing portrays him as. If anything, he spends most of the game bumbling through awkward situations and conversations like a fuzzy Martin Freeman.

On the other hand, there’s definitely still some stuff that I just overall don’t think has aged well from any angle. I maybe don’t find gore for gore’s sake or swearing for swearing’s sake to be all that endearing, even with the juxtaposition of brightly colored cartoon characters. Anything outright upsetting in this day and age will vary in severity from person to person, but I’d be lying if I didn’t think there were some jarring scenes. I myself was particularly caught off guard by two characters urging another to commit suicide. And no sooner had I uttered a “what the hell” to myself at this, but he actually attempts it right then and there! Not for me, sorry, at least not when it’s played for laughs. So a word of caution regarding this game, if only for the fact that these mature topics are not always handled with care.

Getting back to some really wonderful stuff, though, I haven’t got anything to complain about in this game’s presentation. In fact, I think Conker’s Bad Fur Day might be one of the best-looking games on the N64, both in terms of graphical fidelity and visual design. It’s not as if the style Conker’s goes for is completely fresh and new — it feels fairly obvious that one of the key reasons for mature change in tone is because of how derivative the visual style originally was — but the tweaks to make everything seem just a little bit off or sinister or pained really go a long way when they’re utilized. A lot of characters simply look like the vegetables with eyes from Spiral Mountain, the tutorial area in Banjo-Kazooie, but grumpy cigar-puffing cogs and mad-scientist weasels with eye augmentations are still easily identifiable as clearly being right out of Conker’s messed up, crude countryside valley.

Unlike most of Rare’s efforts which make cheating a limited option, if they’re available at all, Conker has enough respect for your time to include numerous codes. Here’s the one to unlock all the levels and jump to whichever chapter you please.

We’re also on point and highly impressive in the sound department as well. Rare’s top brass, mainly including project lead Chris Seavor and composer/co-writer Robin Beanland really took the reins on audio, especially voice acting. The pair would contribute VO work for most characters in the game themselves, but what’s most important about that is that every chapter actually has recorded dialogue. On the N64, this was still uncommon, even right up to the end of its life, but makes all the difference in the world for this game. Add in that the models look absolutely crisp and that the game runs great, while not even using the Expansion Pak and this is easily one of the system’s most technically proficient game all around. Robin Beanland is also on point with his compositions, as usual, but it’s the further diversity in his portfolio that’s particularly fun here. Bouncy, old-fashioned cartoon-inspired themes like the overworld of “Windy and Co.” and the epic operatic boss theme of “Sloprano” are clear highlights, and plenty of influence from his colleague Grant Kirkhope can be found throughout such as in, well, other poo-related tracks, et. al.

I don’t want to look at Conker’s Bad Fur Day and just think of a game that has some poorly aged stuff, but I also don’t see the masterpiece that I a lot of people make it out to be, both upon its original release and nowadays. I understand where this reputation comes from, though. There was certainly nothing like it when it came out, and even all these years later, no matter how differently it may come off, Conker’s Bad Fur Day is a game made by a talented, proven team of developers getting to blow off steam and make whatever they wanted. They probably even went a little further than necessary in terms of content just to see where the limits were, and it was the success of media like South Park at the time that empowered them to do so. That certainly doesn’t mean Conker’s Bad Fur Day isn’t worth playing, at least for those who can somewhat enjoy the humor, even only in certain sections. But unlike Rare’s near-perfect representations of their respective genres that hold up today such as Banjo-Kazooie, Perfect Dark, and Diddy Kong Racing, Conker’s Bad Fur Day is far too inconsistent to be given the same objective status nowadays, though nostalgia can still make a valid case otherwise.

Continuing Legacy

Conker’s Bad Fur Day enjoys an almost legendary reputation with many gamers who either played it back in the day or haven’t played it at all. This used to be partly due to being largely inaccessible, as both the original cartridge and Xbox port were known to be relatively uncommon on their respective systems. A modern rerelease as part of the Rare Replay collection for Xbox One helped somewhat on that front, but the mature content seems to play a role in Conker’s remaining less accessible than other Rare titles.

As far as direct influence on other games, however, it can be hard to identify Conker’s Bad Fur Day’s style, partly due to a lack of identifying mechanics. The tone and humor, however, is palpable in games like Naughty Bear and Fairytale Fights, to make a few. Cutesy aesthetics with heavy doses of violence and foul language to play up the shock value. It doesn’t inherently make for a good game, nor is Conker solely responsible for the style, but it’s certainly an aesthetic closely associated with it.