Every Character’s Best Line from Star Fox 64

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I was brainstorming the best way to get my first bit of content into the “lists” section of the site here, and the funny thing is that every time I’ve looked for a job doing stuff like this, it’s really clear that list articles and videos are what sell so you really have to be good at coming up with ideas for them. But I didn’t really want to do a random top 10 on the spot just for the sake of doing one, so I tried to think of what else I could do. It’s actually occurred to me that my favorite type of YouTube video at this point is not “top 10 x” but rather variations of someone looking at “every type of y,” so to do something silly, I decided to go through the entire script of a game that I know like the back of my hand and pick out the ones that make me all warm and fuzzy inside, like they have since I was five years old.

All embedded videos are set to begin at the line in question, uncompressed audio files uploaded to YouTube by pinglefingle via Nintendo leaks.

Fox McCloud (Mike West) – “I’ll do my best! Andross won’t have his way with me!”

The first line we hear from Fox in the game, as the team embarks on their mission by stopping the invasion of Corneria City. A strong, talented leader ready to take on all comers, naturally with the cadence of a classic action hero.

Falco Lombardi (Bill Johns) – “Hey, Einstein, I’m on your side!”

Displaying his sassy demeanor, his tendency to cast the first stone, and a troubling implication of the crossover between our universe and theirs, Falco bites back at a moment’s notice upon taking friendly fire, no matter who’s at fault. The melodrama in his tone is unmatched and this line is one of his defining quips because of it.

Peppy Hare (Rick May) – “Do a barrel roll!”

Yeah, it had to be this one. A meme-worthy sample out of Peppy’s many memorable bits of advice, delivered in a voice I always thought sounded a lot like good ol’ JR, Jim Ross. I’ve always had a fondness for the more tender “you’re becoming more like your father,” but there’s no denying this one.

Slippy Toad (Lyssa Browne) – “Fox, get this guy off me!”

I hate throwing Slippy under the bus as the “annoying character,” but as the weakest pilot of the group, he often feels like the first one to get into trouble, and that’s not even including the story path that takes you onto Titania in the Landmaster to come to his rescue. Unfortunately, the strongest representation of his role comes not as he delivers a health bar for a boss or any technical know-how, but when he’s about to become monkey food, as he puts it.

ROB 64 (David Frederick White) – “Location confirmed, sending supplies.”

The lack of emotion in a robot character doesn’t leave a lot in terms of memorable delivery, so we’re left to either repetition or context to figure out the top choice for good ol’ ROB. And nothing endears us to our man quite like the help he doles out in intense missions. Always answer the call from Great Fox and he’ll be there in an instant with covering fire or a much needed item pickup, delivered in those cute little boxes.

General Pepper (David Frederick White) – “We need your help, Star Fox! Andross has declared war!”

Honorable mention on this one to his bewildered “WHAAAAT???” when he approves payment on your steep invoice. Pepper is always there to deliver a quick briefing heading into each mission, and his opening cry for help in the intro cinematic gives off big King Roland of Druidia vibes when he announces Andross’s invasion to the mercenary squad.

James McCloud (Mike West) – “You’ve become so strong, Fox.”

I pretty shamelessly lean into the emotional weight of Fox’s search for his missing father, and the satisfaction of hearing him sign off to you after leading you out of Andross’s lair in the true ending hits real hard. An excellent way to cap off the story once you build yourself up to the more difficult version of events.

Bill Grey (Jock Blaney) – “Fox, that’s one of ours!”

Bill has no problem getting on you for a misplaced shot. Shooting down a friendly actually might not seem that bad given the tone of the game, which always makes you feel like Bill’s being a hard ass, but if you think about it, Bill’s actually showing a lot of restraint. That’s a court martial in any other context, my guy.

Katt Munroe (Lyssa Browne) – “Beautiful! I could kiss you for that!”

The Ada Wong of the Star Fox universe, Katt is a fellow mercenary with more than a passing familiarity with the Star Fox team, in particular, Falco. She’s undoubtedly strong and independent but not afraid to flip the switch to damsel-in-distress mode, either to get her way or simply when she actually needs it. Admittedly, nobody else’s thank you sounds as appealing as hers, but given her attitude as a whole, you might wanna take a rain check.

Wolf O’Donnell (Jock Blaney) – “Can’t let you do that, Star Fox!”

Possibly the toughest decision amongst the whole cast of characters, as Jock Blaney absolutely hams it up playing the villainous scoundrel on basically every line. Amongst foolhardy taunts (“you’re good, but I’m better!), devilish threats (“you’ll be seeing your dad soon, Fox!”), and bewildered frustration “What the HECK?”), his introduction sets itself apart purely through context, flipping the so-far uneventful Fortuna mission on its head with a fresh, character-driven threat to thicken the plot and ramp up the intensity of the mission on the spot.

Leon Powalski (Ja Green) – “Let’s see how you handle our new ships.”

The quiet confidence in his voice really drives this one home. When Leon raises his voice, his intimidation level plummets drastically — he’s only a true threat when he’s locked in, calm and collected. But the ominous tone of his introduction in your meeting with Star Wolf on Venom is compounded not only by his revamped portrait (where he sports a new targeting computer over his right eye), but by the declaration itself — what does he mean by “new ships?” The hardest dogfight in the whole game, that’s what.

Pigma Dengar (David Frederick White) – “My beautiful reward! AHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!”

Another one of the game’s more well-developed characters, and one who chews the scenery throughout his appearances. Pigma was a member of the original Star Fox team before he betrayed James in favor of a bigger payoff. Even in his death throes, his motivation is clear, and his cowardice astounding.

Andrew Oikonny (Bill Johns) – “Stick to the pond, froggy!”

Andrew boasts both the punchable face and tone of voice that exemplifies the insufferable nepo-baby that he is. When Star Wolf makes their appearance, whether on Fortuna, Area 6, or Venom, the assignment each one takes to the members of Star Fox make sense — Wolf and Fox are the respective team leaders, Leon and Falco are the aces, Pigma and Peppy have history together, and Andrew and Slippy… have high voices? It’s funny how real Andrew’s animosity seems to be right away in spite of a lack of personal connection to his foe that his squad-mates have. He immediately makes it personal, because he’s just that miserable.

Granga Pilot (Jock Blaney) – “My emperor! I’ve failed youuuuuuuuuuu!!!”

Yes, we are absolutely doing all the enemy pilots, that was honestly the whole point of this was to get to this group of silly little guys that taunt you at the end of each level route (assuming they have sentience, unlike the bosses of Solar, Titania, Aquas, etc.). Starting with this dude, who pilots a mech with the most glaring design flaw in robotics history. It’s funny he doesn’t really comment on it, but his devastation upon his defeat is so intense, you feel a little bad for him. He just wanted to do a good job.

Attack Carrier Pilot (David Frederick White) – “Who are you guys?!?”

Probably one of the lesser pilot characters, the hard route boss (a direct remake of the Corneria boss in the original Star Fox) gives you his best line as a setup for Fox’s reply (“We’re Star Fox!”) than anything else. But a memorable moment, nonetheless.

Meteo Crusher Pilot (Bill Johns) – “You’re not as stupid as you LOOK!”

The antithesis of Leon, this dude gets much more intimidating as he becomes more unhinged between phases of your fight (the last phase becoming noticeably harder doesn’t hurt, either) and even in defeat, the stark differences in his demeanor are quite intimidating. Unlike his comrades, he’s not upset on behalf of Andross, he’s pissed at himself.

Spyborg (Lyssa Browne) – “The. View. Is clear.”

Another tough one because of the robotic voice, this one gets the most intense when it reaches its most HAL levels of flirting with sentience. An under-explored character that hints at a lot of lore that we don’t get to dive into, but its best aspect is how it suggests other terrifying AI like GlaDOS, HAL, and SkyNet.

Shogun Pilot (Ja Green) – “Cocky little freaks!”

Cocky. Little. Freaks. Just break down this line into individual words. You know he’s shouted this at kids ding-dong-ditching his house in Jersey. That accent is killer.

Sarumarine Captain (Ja Green) – “Ohhh SHOOT!”

This is a game for children, after all. I just love a Mr. Krabs-sounding character like this one, living the crotchety old sea captain life regardless of the context he’s been dropped into. He should be swearing like a sailor, but all he can muster when you take out that crane is a last-second self-censorship.

Forever Train Conductor (Ja Green) – “No! Hit the brakes! I can’t stop iiiiiiiiiiitttttt!!!”

Slightly cheating because these are two barely broken up voice clips, but they’re said in succession, so it counts. I really can’t get enough of this guy. He spends the entire level taunting you, pulling out all his tricks as you chase the supply train through the level in the LandMaster. Once you hit the switches and change the track, bypassing the entire boss fight in one of the trickier endings of the game, his attitude suddenly shifts. It reminds me of Samuel L. Jackson in Django Unchained, bellowing out a weak, devastated cry as his master and his will to live dies in front of his very eyes. And you get a giant score bonus from it, too. Win-win.

Caiman (Bill Johns) – “Caiman here. No problems… DO YOU COPY? EMERGENCY MANEUVERS!!!”

I definitely feel for this guy. He got his WHOLE day ruined in two seconds flat. He spends pretty much the whole rest of the level getting berated by his CO to deal with the Star Fox team, which he clearly already understands is a problem and is working on it with no real backup from the brass. Sorry dude, I hope I didn’t give you another ulcer.

Area 6 General (Ja Green) – “Did we get ’em?”

Do you not have radar or some kind of monitor from where you are? Get off your ass and gear up yourself! It’s like you can’t be bothered to stop scrolling TikTok to check your workstation.

Andross (Rick May) – “If I go down, I’m taking you with me!”

The last act of a desperate man. The distortion on the voice and the anger in his tone make this one hell of a delivery. This leads right into the final escape of Fox, led by his father’s ghost, and really drives home the vitriol Andross holds towards those he sees as beneath him. It’s both a shock and an insult to his entire being that he could be bested by puny, ordinary citizens, so he makes his final gambit to save face and take them out as well. Honorable mention to the creepy laugh when his face appears on the horizon in the easy ending. Definitely gave me the chills as a kid.

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Thanks to the amazing voice cast that made this game so memorable for me right away and is a major part of it being my favorite of all time. RIP Rick May.